I'm so, so tired.

I'm tired. I'm so, so tired.

The toll of caring for my chronically ill father, plus step-parenting two teenagers, being in the throes of perimenopause, rebuilding my career since DEI work is illegal, managing a small home renovation, and witnessing the impact of our fascist, dumpster fire government, is catching up with me. Has already caught up with me.

I've had to be really diligent about setting boundaries to protect my mental health. I've made the gut-wrenching decision to pause my activism work for a few months, and I've had to extend a lot of compassion towards myself for doing so. Surprisingly (and not-surprisingly, given the amazing people I am in community with), everyone has been extremely supportive of my need to take some time away, which has really affirmed my choices of who I organize with (seriously, these people are amazing) and also my decision to step away for a bit. 

I've set boundaries about what emotional loads I can and cannot (or will and will not) bear for others, and I've also been really careful not to over-extend myself schedule-wise, so that I have plenty of bandwidth for my clients. 

And it's still hard. Sometimes I'm not at my best. Maybe more than sometimes. 

And that's still ok. I'm learning it's ok to be messy. Maybe even really messy. I'm grateful that I've cultivated my relationships with the people I love most, so that we can repair when we aren't at our best. And I'm grateful that I know where to ask for help when I need it.

How about you? How are you feeling? How are you caring for yourself and where are you struggling to do so? Where might you bring more self-compassion and gratitude into your life?