This is what I cling to
My husband and I celebrated our 1st anniversary last month, which was even more fun and special than I expected (I'm a huge birthday person, and this was even more fun than that!). Plus we got to eat the top layer of our amazing vegan wedding cake, made by Flour and Time Bakery here in Atlanta, and it was just as delicious 1 year later! I'm truly so grateful to have found such a wonderful person to spend my life with, and oh how much I wish that I could've told younger Jill that it would all work out in the end, just maybe not when/how she expected.
While I hold space for all of this joy, which is so, so important, I also hold space for all of the tragic, scary things happening in our world. The Alabama supreme court ruling that fetuses are people, the ongoing genocide in Gaza with its ceaseless and indescribable death and suffering, genocides in DRC and other countries, and my rapidly dwindling trust in our government. Plus a group of well regarded dermatologists proposing to end all DEI programs in Dermatology because of what they perceive as 'anti-Jewish' sentiment in DEI spaces since October 7.
When it all feels so overwhelmingly bad (and when 'overwhelmingly bad' seems like the understatement of the year), these are the things I cling to:
1. Dialectics- more than one thing can be true at the same time, even things that seemingly contradict each other. I can have extreme sadness and despair at the world AND I can find joy in other ways. I can experience these intensely painful emotions and still find ways to breathe, work, move, and love.
2. Not all people are bad, it's just that the bad ones are (much, much) louder right now. There are many, many brilliant, committed, passionate, inspiring people and organizations who are fighting for a better world. This instagram post from the @blackliturgies account, which was written before Aaron Bushnell self-immolated in protest, and is even more poignant and relevant in that context, says it so beautifully: "Our resistance is not predicated on how likely it will be to alter the conscience of the oppressor. We resist to retain our own conscience. And to awaken all others who are still in possession of their souls" (Cole Arthur Riley)
3. Love your loved ones as much as you can. Hold them close. Savor the micro-moments in life, because that's how we can ground ourselves, how we can connect and re-connect, over and over again, with love, joy and hope. Grounding in love makes it possible to participate in active resistance in a more sustainable way.
4. All voices of resistance matter. Even if you aren't the head of a social justice organization, or the most well-read on Israel and Palestine, or a civil rights attorney, your voice matters, and it contributes to our collective fight for a better world. Speak out where and when you can, and do it often.